I was up for nearly two hours last night having fake contractions or practice contractions or pre-pre-labor contractions or I don't know what. What I do know is they were seriously uncomfortable. Like baaaad menstrual cramps for which you're not allowed to take Advil. Or, more to the point, whiskey. And I've been having them many times a day for the past few days and they're quite a bit more painful than the clearly Braxton-Hicks (read: fake) ones I started having a month or two ago. I hope this means that my cervix is DOING something, because if all this discomfort is caused by make-believe, do-nothing contractions, it's going to be a veeeeeeeeeeeeeeery long two-and-a-half (or, heaven help me, four) weeks.