This is what my life looks like right now: wandering through Goodwill—not the first but the second Goodwill of the day—carrying a wedding veil and a onesie in one hand and a stack of shot glasses and a pitchfork in the other.
This is what it sounds like: Is this veil white or ivory? It looks white compared to that other one, but that one is practically yellow. Like my teeth lately. Why are they so yellow? I haven’t had coffee for months. Maybe it’s the pregnancy. Should I get them whitened for the wedding? Is that safe for the baby? Maybe I should hold the veil up to something I know is white… how about this cotton onesie? Oh, it’s so cute—I wonder if I should buy it or wait and see how many people give us for baby presents… there’s just something so classic about a white onesie. Okay, the veil is definitely ivory. Too ivory to wear with a white dress. Should I buy it anyway, just for fun? Maybe for the kid’s dress-up clothes box? No, they can play with the veil I actually wear to the wedding, and what am I saying “they”? Remember how miserable those first 17 weeks were? Remember the constant nausea? Just one kid. Zero population growth. Right. Okay. Focus. Shot glasses. Will these shot glasses work for the wedding? Are they too ugly? Too big? How about this pitchfork? What’s the pitchfork for again?