Bare Necessities

I’ve spent the last two days online researching baby strollers and car seats and swings and cribs and mattresses and bottles and nipples and breast pumps and glider chairs and changing tables and slings and diaper pails and everyone’s favorite—rectal thermometers. I was supposed to attend a friend’s garden party yesterday afternoon, but I never made it past my driveway because I realized I’ve lost the ability to converse like a normal person. All I’ve got is, “Can you believe they make a baby swing that simulates womb sounds? ... And do you think we need one?”