Last night I gave my first public reading of my work, at a local writing center. I read my blog entry from December 8 about my misadventures in biofeedback and the one from January 12 about my perennial baby-craziness.
I was a nervous wreck all week, my stomach a flock of angry birds, and the anxiety making my period late. I’d been assured by friends and fiancé alike that once I got started, the nerves would wear off and I might even start to enjoy myself.
They were totally wrong.
The lights were super bright and in my eyes, and I couldn’t see anyone’s face to be able to tell whether they were enjoying themselves which was particularly important to me since I, as I mentioned, was not.
Eventually I finished reading and took my seat and drank Dr. Fiancé’s cocktail and then started to enjoy myself. A particular highlight was when one of my Writers-in-the-Schools colleagues came up and gushed, “Oh, my god! The onesies! I thought I was the only one so crazy about wanting to have babies! I love it!” I told her I’d already made note of her at our first work meeting and had flagged her as a future mom-friend, since she had a kid and I’ve heard it’s really hard to meet cool fellow moms. “Why wait?” she shrugged. “Let’s be mom friends now!”