Your friends, colleagues, family, and neighbors will feel inexplicably free to say rude things about your body—things they would never say to you if you were, oh, fat rather than pregnant, and you’re not supposed to get upset or offended. In fact, it seems you are supposed to reassure them in some way. Some examples:
“Oh my god! Do you ever just feel fat?”
“Oh my god! You’re still pregnant? When I saw you two months ago I didn’t think you could get any bigger!”
“Oh my god! You look like you need to be popped!”
“You remind me of my mother these days.”*
And my favorite: “Oh my god! You’re enormous! Are you sure there’s only one in there? Not, like, a whole litter of puppies?”
Puppies. Seriously. What the fuck?
*Said to me by my father, not my husband—which would have been much worse, Freudian-wise.
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