On the Up Side

I am quoted in this month's issue of Seattle Woman magazine saying oh-so-nerdily, "The word 'essay' means 'to try'."

Modesty Returned

Today is not my day. I lost a contest to a woman with no last name (think “Sade” or “Enya”). In addition to losing and being the kind of asshole who writes sentences like the previous one, I sold a (perfectly good as far as I knew!) stroller I never should have bought in the first place on Craigslist this weekend, and now the woman who purchased it is stalking me, insisting that I duped her by selling a stroller with a broken wheel and demanding I refund her money. People return things on Craigslist??? So many ill-advised dressers and Febreeze-scented chairs I could have returned!

As I pulled out of the garage to go soothe myself with chocolate, two random dogs appeared out of nowhere and would not get out of the way, and in my attempt not to kill them (even though I wanted to!), I smashed the shit out of my side-view mirror.

The marquee on a church by my house says “You can tell the strength of a person’s character by what discourages them.”

What can I say? I’m weak. Very, very weak.